Do you like it?  Do you hate it?  Do you not care?  Maybe there are aspects of the Christmas season that you like and aspects of the Christmas season that you really don't like.  The trees, the lights, the snow, the shopping for presents, the receiving of presents, the putting up of Christmas decorations, the taking down of Christmas decoration are all often a part of American Christmas.

Many people in America, and in other parts of the world, don't even celebrate Christmas.  There's Kwaanza (an African-American and Pan-African holiday celebrated Dec. 26- Jan.1 celebrating family, culture and community, according to officialkwanzaawebsite.org), Hannukah (eight day celebration of a victory and rededication of a temple in the Jewish faith, which varies between November and December, according to Wikipedia.com).  Yet, all are aware of the celebration of the birth of Christ which is predominantly in the Western Hemisphere.

Going back to American Christmas, if you don't like it, what is the reason?  Could it be the loss of a loved one, a negative memory from past years celebrated, misunderstanding/ unbelief in what is celebrated, or something else entirely.  There can be many reasons for enjoyment/horror of the season.  If the way you feel about the season works for you, fine.  Yet, if it doesn't, and you'd like to know why, I'd like to help you.

I like many things about Christmas.  I like many celebrations enjoyed during the holiday season.  My husband and I have certain movies we like to watch (he likes to watch It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve and I like to watch While You Were Sleeping and Muppet's Christmas Carol sometime during the holiday season).  I like to go to White Elephant parties (for those who don't know what they are - they are where you bring a gift to wrap - the gift could be candies, something you don't want, or even a roll or toilet paper) and I LOVE to go Christmas caroling.  In fact, I haven't gone Christmas caroling in a few years and I miss it.  What are some of your holiday traditions?

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach

I don't know much about it, other than it's trending on Yahoo and he died of pneumonia.  Zig Ziglar was a great man, who wrote many positive thinking/sales books, was a motivational speaker, and just kept hanging on, until he couldn't anymore. 

The only time I ever saw him in person was in 2009 or 2010 - I believe it was at this very "Get Motivated!" seminar pictured on the right.  He had a stroke and was up on stage with his daughter.  It was at a motivational rally that was mandatory through my husband's sales job at the time.  He didn't want to be there, but I just eat this stuff up.  It makes me feel more alive, more hopeful for the world and my future. 

Back to Zig, he was on the stage with his daughter and she was prompting him with questions.  He still had his spirits up and was making jokes up on stage.  His daughter had mentioned that he had recently had a stroke.  He kept saying one thing about marriage over and over again.  His daughter commented that someone in the audience must have needed to hear that, for Zig to say it over and over again.

I never even met the man, and never saw him in person in the prime of his life, but the news saddens me.  I just don't like good legends to die.  I wish I would've known him well enough to be invited to his funeral.  I love going to funerals because, they remind me to live each day as if I'm preparing for my funeral.  What do I want people to say about me?  Then I try to live into that person.

Anyway, enough about me, how do YOU respond to death?  Have you ever had a loved one (even if it's a cat) die?  Do you move on easily, or dwell on their life and the good times you had with them?  Neither one is right or wrong, just different.  Grieving is definitely an important process in life, whether it lasts a few days, or a lifetime.  Moving on with life after a loss is often a hard process.  I mean, how do you stay all put together on the outside when you just are falling apart on the inside?

Living with loss is something that all of us experience in life.  Some do it alone and some need help.  I'm here for you if you need help.  I'd love to hear any experiences you've had, either with loss, or with Zig Ziglar.  May a great man rest in peace.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach
[email protected]

For my purposes, abundance means "more than enough."  You may be abundant, in something.  Think about it, do you have a lot of money, a lot of close family and friends, a lot of excess weight, a lot of closeness to God, a lot of health.  And maybe you don't feel like you have an abundance of anything.

Be grateful for any abundance in your life.  I know it may sound strange to be grateful for excess weight, but, that means that your wonderful body is protecting you from the possibility of starvation.  Your body is storing that weight for a rainy day.  It's protecting you from the opposite of where you are now.

Abundance is a blessing in any form.  You may not be financially rich, but you may have great family relationships.  You just love to spend time with them whenever you can.  They are your bread and butter of life.  You just laugh until you cry.  It's a wonderful life with family - whether you were born into that family, or you unofficially adopted them.

Even in business, maybe you don't make a lot of money but have many loyal customers.  They'd do almost anything for you and you'd do almost anything for them.  You've been in business for a long time and some of your customers now are children of some of your first customers.

Let me know how you are abundant.  I'd love to hear it.

I'm abundant in family relationships.  Both my parents and my husband's parents live close by.  When I grew up, my family mostly spent time with each other.  We just loved to be with each other and knew how to laugh and be with each other.  We simply "got" each other and had fun together.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach

Do you ever feel lost?  Maybe you were adopted or put in foster homes/orphanage when you were young?  Maybe you were not, didn't really feel a part of everything.  Maybe you were one of the popular kids in high school, but now that you're all grown up, you don't know where you belong.  Maybe you just lost a loved one with whom you felt so comfortable... so at home.

I think all of us are lost at some point in our lives - just trying to find out where we belong in this world.  You are not alone in this feeling.  It's a natural phase of life that we experience at different ages in life, and, some of us experience this feeling multiple times in our lives.  It simply means that you care about where you're going in this life.

It might help by start picturing who you want to be and visualizing your life as if your ideal life were today.  What would help you feel less lost.  Picture having again that person you miss.  It's OK to feel, though it may be hard.  Just notice every feeling, sensation, emotion, touch.  It may hurt, but at least you're feeling something.  Feeling something helps us feel more human.

What do you love?  What do you enjoy doing?  What would you enjoy doing for a career if it paid what you needed to take care of yourself/your family?  Think about it for a few minutes before judging your choices.  Just think, imagine and FEEL GOOD.  Imagine the life of your dreams?  Where would you be?  With whom would you be?  What would you be doing?  That's a start.

If you need any more help, just reach out.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach
[email protected]

I know that, in America at least, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  Usually, this is a time for turkeys, stuffing, pies, and most of all, overeating.  Some families remember to say reasons each member is grateful.  This is great to start with, but, how many of us remember to be grateful all year long.

I'm sure most of us have head the phrase "attitude of gratitude," but do you realize how essential this is to true success (and I'm not just talking about monetary success, but success in all areas)?  The more you give, the more you get.  It's best not to give to get, but because you give, you get.  Whether you're praying to God, or releasing the grateful feeling to the universe, it feels the same.  It is a feeling of contentment, joy, happiness.

Let me explain a little first WHY having an attitude of gratitude helps in all areas of success.  If you're feeling depressed, it's probably because you're thinking about what you DON'T have that you want.  If you're feeling fat, it's probably because you're thinking about the body you have and being dissatisfied.  If you don't have the love in your life you want (either you have none, or you aren't happy with the one you have), you're probably focusing on the ideal.  Yet, when you FEEL the feelings of want, being dissatisfied, lack, etc. - does it feel good or bad?  That bad feeling only brings more bad feelings into your life.  If, however, you feel good, that also brings more good.  You are an open book.  What you truly believe in your heart, is the way it is for you.

So, I bet you're thinking, "that sounds like me, how do I turn this around?"!  Start being grateful.  Be grateful for your place to live, because, no matter how humble, there are many people sleeping outside in the cold tonight.  Be grateful for your pains in the neck family or friends because they teach you patience.  Be grateful for your voice because I know many who can't speak.  Be grateful for your fat because it keeps you warm.  Be grateful for your pain because it means you are able to feel.  Be grateful for your legs and arms because there are many who no longer enjoy the privilege of having them.  Be grateful for the color of your skin because there are many people who don't look at life in exactly the same way you do.  You get the idea.

It is in being grateful that we truly realize how much we have.  Yes, there's something that all of us lack, but, there are also many things that we all have.  Why not focus on those.  Sometimes, you can't do anything about what you don't have, but you can make what you DO have even better.  It's also simply more enjoyable to focus on what we DO have.  It may help you turn your life upside down.

You can be grateful for what you have right now, or you can be grateful of what is coming to you.  Either way, I challenge you to write a list of 10 things you're grateful for (present or future) every day.  Just start cultivating that spirit, the attitude of gratitude.  Don't picture what you want as much as focus on things as if you already had them, and feel good.  The feeling good part is essential in the attitude of gratitude part.

Try it.  You just might like it.  I know I do.

Gratitude is an attitude that hooks us up to our source of supply. And the more grateful you are, the closer you become to your maker, to the architect of the universe, to the spiritual core of your being. It’s a phenomenal lesson.- Bob Proctor

Before I end today, I just want to take this moment to say how grateful I am for my family, friends and clients.  I love helping others learn to live a fuller, more beautiful life, while I'm learning to live a fuller life myself.  I want to change the world, helping one person at a time.  Please help me by paying it forward, in whatever way you choose.

Lisa Starr
Life and Corporate Coach

P.S.  I want to hear your best experiences with gratitude.

I think many of us lose tempers over something, whether it be family or friends, or perfect strangers (like, while driving).  It's hard to have self-control all of the time.  Many people don't get angry at others often, but get angry at themselves.

The key is:  are we getting better?  Do we want to get better?  I know I do, as a Christian trying to get closer to God.  Some believe in reincarnation, Paganism, Buddha or other faiths.  Yet, I believe that most faiths have an element of getting better or closer to that higher power.  We all want to feel we're on a path somewhere that will eventually get someplace. 

Yet, does anger really help us become better?  What does anger accomplish?  Many things in many circumstances, but, to me, it seems to be to help us feel justified for not becoming who we truly are inside.  We may not even admit this to ourselves.  However, I don't know of any really good purpose anger serves.  It may manipulate others to do what you want, but then they are not feeling good either.

If you get angry, like I do, it might help to think about what you get angry about?  Under what circumstances do you often get angry?  To start improving anything in life, it helps to note where you currently are.  How does it make you feel?  Fully feel the emotions and notice as much as you can about it.  Can you sense if it has a color or shape?  Where in your body do you feel it the strongest?  What do you feel like doing?  What do you actually do?  Why?  Just start asking yourself questions.  Honestly, you are your best therapist. 

Coaches like me can simply help lead you in the right direction.  Feel free to ask me.

Lisa Starr
Life and Business Coach

When I mention grieving, I don't mean only losing someone to death.  I mean, it could be losing someone to divorce, moving away, a change in lifestyle, or some other change.  Changes can often be very difficult, no matter the reason.

I'll be very upfront and personal here.  I've gone through a divorce, and that separation was almost worse than a death.  I have lost close friends/family as well.  In death, often times there's some type of closure.  Sometimes in divorce there is as well, but sometimes, as in my case, there is not.  There's almost a fear of seeing him again, though I once loved him.  It's a strange feeling that I don't wish on my worst enemy.

You may be sad because a friend moved away, or you moved away.  Maybe you hope you will still stay in contact, and maybe you will.  But it won't be the same.  It's almost as if that person is dead to you.  It's a form of divorce, or separation.

When I mention a change in lifestyle, maybe you have become more financially abundant, or maybe your friend has.  Maybe you have become less financially abundant or a friend has.  It could also be that you're not smoking, drinking, or doing drugs anymore, and now those friends are as good as dead to you.  You want to still be friends, but you don't want to do what they do.

Whatever the reason for the feelings of grief, one of the first best steps you can take for yourself is to allow yourself to feel it.  Whether it's sad, bitter, angry, hollow, nothing, shock or some other feeling entirely, focus on that feeling and allow your body to feel it.  No matter what society says, it's OK for you to feel.  It's healthy for you to let it all out, without destroying things, of course.  Allow your body to feel these sensations.  Allow your mind to think those thoughts.  Allow negative emotions to drain out, if you choose.  Write poetry, be by yourself, talk to a friend, take a walk.  Do whatever will help you feel those emotions.  It is by allowing yourself to feel the emotions that they go away.  You may choose to savor the moments while you can.  It is when your bottle up your emotions that they linger. 

Let it go.  It may not be easy but, let it go.  I'm sure you'll feel better.

Lisa Starr
Life and Corporate Coach 

Maybe I did a disservice in not talking about this first and foremost.  I think most of us know what the law of attraction is, but, just to make sure we are on the same page, let me explain. 

The Law of Attraction is basically that like attracts like.  If you think or act negatively, you get more negative.  If, however, you think or act positively, you get more positive.  It's also known as the law of sowing and reaping or the law of the harvest.  You get what you deserve ultimately in this life.

One thing many people may not know about the Law of Attraction is that you don't get what you want.  You get what you expect.  If you want something but don't expect it to happen, the chances are smaller that it will happen.  Think of how you feel when you want something.  It's a yearning, a reaching, but almost an uneasy pit in your stomach.  Now think of having something wonderful.  What does THAT feel like?  To me it feels like a peace and confidence - being content.

If you WANT something, learn how to EXPECT it.  You can do this by faking it until you make it, so to speak.  Think and act like you already have it.  What type of person would you be and what would you do if you already had what you desire.

I know that's a simplified version of the Law of Attraction.  However, if you need more help understanding or learning how to apply it into your life, remember that I offer a free consultation.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach

I don't know if you've heard the quote, "If you're concerned with what others think of you, you'd be surprised how seldom they do."  Yet, whether we think of what others think about us a lot or a little, it is important to some extent.  In business, reputation sometimes gives or take a lot of customers.  We, as business owners, aim to please - I'm sure you've heard the phrases "Your Way," "The customer is always right," and other phrases that say the same thing. 

Personally, some care and some don't about others' opinions of them.  Some only do what will please others.  Some will only do what others don't like.  Some go to the beat of their own drum.  Most of us do a little of all three.  Many of us just go throughout our days hoping we won't get in trouble with someone.

Opinions are interesting things.  They vary based on what's "in the eye of the beholder."  You can be up and popular one minute and a has-been the next minute.  You may have read the book or watched the movie The Lorax when the thneeds were all the rage one minute and almost the next minute they were forgotten. 

The point of all of this is to pick and choose whose opinions really matter.  If they do matter, make sure to impress.  If they don't matter, be considerate, but don't put too much stock on what they say.  Pay attention enough to decide who matters in your life/business.  Why do they matter?  What can you do to please others that matter most?  If you don't pick and choose, you might just go crazy trying to please everyone or no one.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach 

What is your business?  I'd love to hear what type of business you own or are working in.  There are many different businesses as we all know.  Of those small and large businesses, some are striving and some are floundering.  Is yours growing or shrinking?  Do you know why?

Maybe you do and maybe you don't.  Maybe it has to do with cash flow.  Maybe it has to do with customers.  Maybe it has to do with employees.  It might have something to do with all of the above and more.  I just know that within five years of beginning, 90% of businesses fail.  I'm not saying this to scare you.  I'm saying this to inform you and let you know that you can be part of the 10% that keeps going after five years.  You can do well in business.  As Bob Proctor informs us, all solutions to problems are in the universe, we just have to become aware of their presence.  What that means is that we have to be in the same vibration that the answers to our questions are.

Still don't understand?  Think of a radio and trying to find a radio station.  If you get in between stations, you hear static, but if you get on a station and get good reception, you hear the music or words well.  It's the same with figuring out a solution - we just have to be directly on the station where the solution is in order to find it.

Maybe you still need some help.  Just let me know what I can do to help you get on the right track.  I want to help you become successful.

Lisa Starr
Life/Corporate Coach